For me, it's not picking up a pen and pencil and putting black ink on a paper. It's not about the letters of the words, or the penmanship with which they're written. It's not about the sound of the words once they're read or as they're being spattered out on a keyboard. For me, it's all about the feel of the words.
Sometimes, starting to write something is exceedingly difficult for me. Whether it's an Economics paper, or a poem, or just any old thing I jot down. Even starting to write on this blog, where I can say anything I want, can be painful almost. But I do it anyway. Because once I start, I'll usually get the words flowing. And it's almost like the concious part of my mind goes to sleep. I start feeling the words with my mind, and once my mind gets on track, there's no stopping it. The words just come to me. It's like I'm not thinking about what I'm saying. I am, but I don't feel the burden of that thinking. It's my subconcious moving my fingers on the keyboard and giving everything on this screen life.
There are many times when I'm by myself, just thinking of how I feel, or what needs to be done about a certain situation. And I can't figure it out. I can't explain how I feel, even to myself! I can't put my thoughts or feelings into words. But as I sit at the computer, and I start getting a rythym out, all of a sudden I'll be typing as fast as I'm thinking and letting my fingers do all the work; and FINALLY I'll look at the screen and realize that my brain has put my feelings into words for me. Sometimes it's the only way I can figure anything out.
Most of the time my writing is done on the notepad accessory. Just a blank screen. I beat out the first few sentences or paragraphs and then let myself go. And it's beautifully therapeutic. There's nothing like it. There's also nothing like "waking up" or, "snapping out of it" and realizing that you have a good page of comprehendible, words; that I have one, completed thought sitting there on my screen. And I'll read it, and think, "Oh! I wish I had realized this before".
Now, one thing's for certain: Not everyone is a writer. Some just aren't meant for it. But I gotta say, for those of you who say you don't like writing, or it's just too hard. Give it a shot. Everyone needs to give it a shot at least a couple times. Even when it seems impossible, and you have no idea where you're going with your first paragraphs, just keep kneading the dough, and eventually, your mind might catch on, and before you know it you could be writing some great things that you had no idea you were capable of.
If you're a writer, you might not even know it. However, if you are, the satisfaction of writing is worth the trouble a thousand times over. I'm addicted to it.
We all have to make some tough decisions in our life. Kids and adults, ages 5-100 have to decide what the right thing is, and then decide whether or not to do the right thing. While the individual decisions vary, the inward conflict doesn't. A five year old might struggle with, "Should I take the cookie, even though Mom told me not to?" just as much as an adult might struggle with "Should I tell my boss that it's really my fault we lost our client?"
You see, even though the latter example could have far worse consequences than the first example, the inward struggle is the same. And while the above situations are matters of integrity there is a myriad of other things that people have to deal with. I recently talked with a friend of mine who was head over heels in love with his girlfriend. He wanted to marry her, but he saw that she was becoming an idol in his life and taking up more space in his heart and mind than God was. He saw that she was becoming a barrier between him and the Lord, and he knew he needed to change. Even though (we'll call him Tim) Tim couldn't stand the thought of being apart from "Sarah", and he didn't know how Sarah would respond, he told her that he needed to take a break, step back and get his priorities and focus in line.
It was the hardest thing he ever had to do, but it was the right thing.
I deal with tough decisions all the time, and it can make me weary if I don't have the right mindset. Lots of times I try to do everything myself. I try to be strong, and take a stand on my own. And every time that happens, I FAIL. Miserably. The truth is that no one can do the right thing without Christ's help, and as soon as I let my focus slip away from God, I find myself drowning in a sea of pride.
It's only when I give my struggles to God; cast my cares upon Him, and cling to Him for dear life that I find the strength to rise against the pressures and temptations of my human, deceitful heart.
Lately I've been stupid. I've been living in sin, and then feeling guilty, and thinking, "Well I can't turn to God now, when I'm sinning so badly. How can he accept me like this? No, I'll get back on my feet, start doing the right thing, and then ask God to forgive me, and renew my spirit." But it doesn't work like that! One of the many, beautiful things about God is that He takes us in when we are in the pits of sin, and wretchedness. He is the only one who can help us back to our feet in the first place.
My prayer is, "Lord, give me the strength and courage to do the right thing even when I'm terrified of the results."
Because right now I am. I'm terrified of the pain and hardship that can accompany making the right decision, even though I know that I will have Christ Jesus to protect me, and keep me safe, and hold me in his hand. God's love and protection are infinitely more powerful than any pain or hard times that this world can use to try and hold us prisoner.
So, today I am looking to the Lord, and asking Him to give me His strength that I might stand firm against all my idols, temptations and fears.
I pray that you will join me in this rebellion against fear and sin; against this world in which we live. The only comfort and hope that we have is that we are not our own, but belong body and soul to our faithful savior, Jesus Christ.
To Believe, Or Not To Believe, That Is The Question
You know, there are a lot of warnings out there. About...everything. It seems that people, namely professionals, experts, and know-it-alls of every kind, feed off of scaring people. They need something to make their Ph.D worthwhile; something to be known for.
Well, once you've read all the health-scare articles, seen all the television interviews, bought the books, and listened to the "professionals" over the radio, you must come to the realization that there are only 2 options available.
1.- You can retreat to a sterile bubble of healthy loneliness.
or,
2.- Pray that you've been born with a good amount of common sense, and grab life by the reins; living boldy enough to take every warning with a grain of salt.
Really, the only way to know what's true and what's not is to research what you hear. That doesn't mean spending 6 hours of your life on every single piece of information you ever hear, but that's where common sense comes in.
Lately, high fructose corn syrup has been getting a lot of hype. I've heard a few things about it, but it got me thinking about sugar. You know, regular sugar. The refined, bleached type of sugar that we put in our baked goods and coffee every day. Well I thought so much about it I decided to do some actual checking-up on it.
I must say, out of all dos and don'ts in the health field, I've found a worthwhile subject in the dangers of consuming sugar. There are side affects that I wouldn't have dreamed could come from sugar. The main reason I'm blogging about this right now is because I've personally gained from the information.
I've been subject to what I would call 'temper tantrums' and emotional breakdowns more and more often as of late, as well as unusual clumsiness, the shakes when hungry, and a few other uncharacteristic traits. I had no idea what was going on. My most recurring thought recently has been, What the heck is wrong with me? Well I've found the answer.
The Answer to My Craziness!
The book 'Sugar Shock' by Connie Bennett, C.H.H.C., opens by telling the author's horror story of up-and-down symptoms, some of which were the exact same as mine. This caught my attention, and held it enough for me to finish the book. Connie lists symptoms that millions of Americans experience every year, often without ever finding the cure.
Bennett lists 44 common symptoms including, mood swings, drowsiness, sleeping too much, difficulty concentrating, joint pains, anxiety, light headedness, heart palpitations, nightmares, digestive problems, peculiar breath, lack of coordination, and 32 others.
Watch this video of Dr. Robert Lustig as he explains the impact that sugar has on your body.
There are speculations about everything, but I've found such a plethera of resources on this particular subject, that I would say there's no denying it.
No denying what?
Well let's be specific. There's no denying that eating too much sugar causes health problems. I'm a firm believer in moderation. For some things, our bodies need sugar. We can use it to our benefit, but most people's idea of a reasonable amount of sugar is way too much than we should actually be eating. Our bodies can't handle it, even if we don't realize it.
I used to think that the only reason to avoid sugar was to lose weight. While it is true that cutting out sweets will make an impact on how much you weigh, I am a pretty thin person, and losing weight has never been one of my top priorities. However, I had no idea how much of an impact sugar was having on my system until I cut it out of my diet for 2 weeks straight.
The first thing I noticed was that I wasn't waking up in the morning feeling like I'd been hit by a truck in my sleep. I thought it was normal to feel awful in the mornings, but once I truly felt good when I woke up, I can't imagine going back. I used to dread going to sleep because I knew my next conscious moments would be ones of pain. I used to wake up with headaches and an overall grogginess. Now, I wake up feeling refreshed and ready to go. I can't believe I never knew what that felt like until only a few weeks ago.
The next of my noticed improvements was my ability to concentrate, and focus on a job. It's not like I have ADD or something where I sit down to read a book and my mind jumps from one thing to the next, and I can't hone in on what the author is trying to say, it's more general than that. I noticed that I started being more efficient. I was getting my work done a few days before the deadline, instead of minutes before. I remembered to put my keys on the shelf when I walked in the door, which, in turn, saved me tons of would-be searching time.
One of my greatest benefits though, has been my feeling of self control. My whacked out, rollercoaster emotions and hormones no longer lead my thoughts. Actually, I suppose they're not whacked out or rollercoaster-ish anymore. The last couple of months have really been scaring me. I would become furious over something small, or let a small, sad story pervade my thoughts to the point of depression. I knew that I was acting, and feeling out of character, but even so, it was very difficult to identify when it was happening because in the heat of the moment I always felt justified in my ideas. Thankfully, all that craziness flew out the window once I started cutting out the sweets.
It wasn't easy, especially at first, to pass up a donut, or soda, or even a piece of candy, but after the first couple days my cravings became less and less. I've received too many benefits to list on here from making that choice and I'm so glad I did. Now, my mother is cutting it out of her diet, too, and in the first week she's already been sleeping better, having more energy, and getting fewer headaches.
Moderation, Moderation, Moderation!
Now, I still eat a cookie, or have some candy here and there, but the key is moderation. It means everything. For me it means healthy or unhealthy. Is that what it means for you? Please, don't take my word for it! Do some searching of your own, maybe do your own two week experiment without sugar and see how much better you feel.
What physical or emotional ailments are you dealing with? What would it be like to have those minimized or gone? Wouldn't it be nice to be in control of yourself?
